Top 11 Tips for Talking with Your Child about Sex

1. Talk with your partner about your family’s values about sex. Specifically discuss which messages you want to give your child about sex.
2. Research age-appropriate lessons on sexuality. (for example—toddlers are interested in beginnings/endings, pregnancy and body functions.)
3. Teach your child proper terminology. Diaper time and bath time are perfect times to teach your child terms such as penis or vulva, in just the same matter-of-fact way that you teach body parts such as eyes and ears. (Vulva, by the way, is the correct term for the whole outside parts of a girl’s genitalia—the vagina is actually an inside part.)
4. Practice using proper terminology.
5. You might find it helpful to take time to imagine the kinds of questions your child might ask, and practice answering them—there’s nothing as helpful as being prepared!
6. Remain calm when questions or situations come up.
7. Respond in an upbeat manner when your child asks questions: emphasizing the message that you want them to bring questions about sex to you. (I like the phrase: “Ooh, good question!”)
8. Do the best you can to answer questions accurately. If you don’t know an answer, say so, then look up the answer, and follow-up with your child.
9. Keep your answers short and age-appropriate.
10. Keep a book around for your child to read—and try to read it together sometimes, too.
11. Finally, remember that the most important goal is to show your child that you are an “Askable parent” and that they can always come to you with questions.