What is a Teachable Moment? (or, Did you hear about Jamie Lynn Spears?)

Sometimes, life presents you with openings—an engraved invitation, if you will, to share information or values with your children. These golden opportunities are what we call “teachable moments.” Sometimes they present themselves because your child asks a question or makes a statement, particularly when those statements are incorrect or contrary to your values. Other times, our teachable moments arrive via the media. These teachable moments can be especially useful, because (a) there are so many of them, and (b) they rarely reflect your family values. It’s a never-ending source of “Let’s talk about this!” moments.

This brings me to Jamie Lynn Spears, Britney Spears’ 16 year old younger sister. Do you know that she’s pregnant? Your school-aged kids probably do. She announced her pregnancy in a tabloid magazine a month or so ago. I want to propose that you consider the media coverage of her pregnancy a very useful teachable moment.

To maximize this teachable moment, let’s identify goals—what are you most interested in conveying to your child? Of course, I hope that you’ll choose ‘reinforcing my status as an askable parent’ as your primary goal. Additional useful outcomes might be:

• Finding out what your child and/or their peer group thinks about teen pregnancy
• Discovering whether your child knows/knows of, any pregnant or parenting teens
• Discussing a parents’ role in guiding/supervising/setting limits on a 16 year old
• Discussing premarital sex and/or
• Discussing contraception
• Highlighting possible values differences between your family & celebrities
• Discussing the role of the media in this situation

Of course, this list will vary according to your child’s age and the depth of knowledge they have about the topic. But really, the main point is that you are emphasizing to your child that you are an “askable” parent—a parent who can talk about ALL topics, even the potentially uncomfortable ones.

Sometimes it can seem hard to get these tough conversations started—but it’s worth it. If we pay attention to teachable moments, those conversations will be easier and more effective.

Wait a minute—I can ‘hear’ a reader asking me how to turn this into a teachable moment with your child. ;^) Okay, try this: later today, in the car, say to your child: So, did you hear about Jamie Lynn Spears? What’d you think about that? Anybody talking about it at school? Ask a question or two, actively listen to the answers, and calmly, carefully, briefly insert your message of choice when the conversations allows for it. Remember to listen more than talk, stay emotionally neutral and try to end on a positive note. You’ll do great—leave a comment and let me know how it goes!