When I lead the Beyond Birds and Bees workshop, I often ask parents to close their eyes for a moment. I then say the words “Sex Ed” and ask them to tell me what they pictured. The typical answer is something like this: a high school coach talking about diseases.
If that’s what comes to mind for you, too, then of course you don’t want to teach your young child about sex!
That’s why, in the workshop we spend a long time expanding our definition of sexuality, and therefore of sexual education.
In short—human sexuality is very comprehensive, and our children must learn things like: anatomy, gender, bodily functions, vocabulary, autonomy, privacy, trust and much much more—if they are to grow into sexually healthy adults. Teaching your young child about the parts of human sexuality that are developmentally appropriate for them is the right thing to do.
As they get older, you can begin to add in more detail, and add in more involved topics (like reproduction, contraception, ethical/moral issues, etc). And, happily, by that point, the conversations will be easier and more effective. Why? Because even though the topics are more involved, you will have set the stage for open, healthy communication with your child. You will have mastered the art of saying uncomfortable words. You will have been thinking and talking about your family values for years. You will have realized that you are the best person to pass on information about this special and important topic, and you will have years of practice at doing it. And your child? They will believe that they should come to you with their questions (and not the 16 year old down the street.) All because you started early—when your child was a toddler and their questions were easy.
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