About Sexual Abuse, part 2 (Sex play between kids)

Austin has had a terrible case of sexual abuse in the news lately. One result of this is that a lot of parents are asking important questions about sexual abuse. This post is part 2 of 2 that provide basic information about sexual abuse. Of course, this is no substitute for the counsel of a professional. If you have questions, please contact a professional. In Texas, you can call the Statewide Child Abuse Reporting Hotline and make a report or get more information anonymously: 1-800-252-5400.

An important piece of the Beyond Birds & Bees class is in learning to recognize Red Flags--in other words, signs that something might be wrong. Sex play between children can be normal. Here are four signs that indicate that it might not be:

• The kids are different ages or developmental ages. More than 2 years difference warrants further investigation and possibly discussion with a professional.
• Coercion/aggression. When sex play is normal, both kids will be fairly interested/motivated to participate. Any signs of one child exerting much influence over the other one is a red flag.
• Adult-style behaviors. When children are engaging in normal, healthy, age-appropriate sex play, they do it like kids. It's silly and childish sex play. If the children are enacting sex play that replicates actual (adult-style) sexuality, treat that as a red flag.
  
• Anger/withdrawn/fearful emotions. Normal childhood sex play is generally accompanied with emotions like: curiosity, silliness, excitement. Contrast that with anger, withdrawal, or fear--those are red flags.
  

Again, remember that this is no substitute for the counsel of a professional. But if all parents would commit those Red Flags to memory, and act on their feelings/intuition by contacting a professional, all children could benefit.