Can we talk about it at the grocery store?

I tell parents to use and teach the proper terminology for genitals with their young kids. This usually prompts a popular question: "But if we teach them that word, won't they yell it out at the grocery store?"

Well, in a word, "yes."

Yes, they probably will say the word penis (or vulva, or whatever) in the grocery store (or say it to Grandma, or at preschool, etc etc etc.) But it's okay--teach the correct words anyway. Why? Well, (a) the positive reasons to use the proper words outweigh the potential embarrassment of the grocery store scene, and (b) the likelihood of your child making a scene with those words is directly related to how freaked out you are by them. If you practice using those words and can incorporate them into your normal vocabulary (just like elbow, eyebrow, and ankle...) your child will have less incentive to 'make a scene' with those words--because they won't be as powerful.

Furthermore, alongside teaching your children the truth about where babies come from, and the proper terminology for all body parts, I encourage parents to teach their children limits for talking about sex. When your child makes the inevitable comment at the dinner table about "poopy" or "farting" (oh, how those young kids love potty humor!), your redirection can include the reminder that those topics are private, and not discussed during dinner/when guests are over/in public/etc.

And then maybe you'll get to have the same conversation I had some time back with my young daughter. As the two of us were driving somewhere, she asked about a family friend:

"Does he have a penis?"

Um, yes honey, he does.

"Can we talk about it at the grocery store?"

*ahem.* No, dear.


Have a great week, ya'll.